Call the press! I’m back from the depths of not-blogging, mainly because my computer has revived itself from what I thought was certain death. It stopped working, and then, one day, it turned on. Mysterious.
So what have I missed blogging about the past month? Oh man, where do I begin? In the life of a new parent, a month may as well be ten years. So much has happened. Babyhood feels like some kind of crazy triathlon that you run on a unicycle while juggling flaming swords, and wiping spit-up off your pants. Every now and then, your mind wanders and you try to remember the last time you took a shower (but you always become thoroughly depressed once you realize how long its truly been, so you stop asking yourself that question). By the time you’ve reached a milestone where you enter a new phase of the race, you suddenly realize how far you’ve come. Here is the short version of what my race has been like the past month:
1) I’ve turned 27 (it was awesome ).
2) Collin started solid foods! (Without me hovering over him, Epi-Pen in hand, in case of an allergic reaction. I didn’t even review my infant CPR skills before his first curious bite.)
3) I survived ten days without my best friend, who so rudely went back east for her brother’s wedding, but now is back to nurture my soul with camaraderie and understanding, like a steaming cup of mommy matzo ball soup. Her baby, who is my pseudo- niece, seemed to grow so much while they were gone, and patiently tolerated my son’s rambunctious welcome home: an attempt to grab her, shake her, and stuff her in his mouth like he does to EVERYTHING these days. (We’re still working on how to touch gently. It’s slow going).
4) Husband’s TV show won the WAVE award! (Best show for people with disabilities in all the Western States! I’m so proud!)
5) Collin, Husband, and I are going for round two of The Big Trip, returning to Southern California for the first Thanksgiving with my mother in years.
6) Collin outgrew his car seat, and miraculously we had $100 in gift cards to Walmart and were able to buy him a new one. To be clear, it’s not just a “new one,” it’s a lazy boy in car seat form. I’m in a split between seat envy and pure joy over being able to sit in the front seat of the car for the first time in five months now that Collin can tolerate sitting in his car seat.
7) I’ve decided to back off the nursing battle with my baby for a little while, and I’m now exclusively pumping and bottle feeding. (It’s time consuming and my nipples are about to fall off, but much less frustrating than trying to nurse Mr. Distractible).
8) Collin has rolled over! (Next up: Driving).
9) I have discovered a way to fold an entire load of laundry at a time by sitting Collin in front of me and handing him clothes to “fold” as I go along. He really loves it, and seems to get this adorable sense of accomplishment, like he’s really helping out. Of course, by “folding,” I mean shaking, chewing, and throwing. Enjoy the cuteness here.
10) Somehow, my baby is almost six months old (?!?!?!?!).
As I mentioned above, my computer is back from the dead, which has allowed me the pleasure of looking through old photos and videos stored on it that I was worried had been lost forever. I found a video my husband took of me playing with our well-groomed, healthy cat who sprinted around our immaculate apartment as if he owned the place. I remember evenings like that, just us and the cat, surfing the web and listening to Beck while we drank wine and made each other laugh. Now, our evenings look more like the two of us running around trying to get things done, occasionally getting a word or two in while our poor cat sits in the corner, matted and fat. We wanted a baby so badly, and I can’t imagine my life without Collin, but I do wish I had appreciated the simpler times a little more. That being said, I don’t know what I would do without my big, wet, slobbery baby kisses, and the heavenly aroma of a warm baby fresh from the bath.
Sometimes I still wait for Collin’s real parents to walk in the door, hand me the money I am owed for changing endless amounts of diapers and singing nursery rhymes like a rock star, and off I will go to resume my life. Call a few friends and get together for some drinks, or catch a movie, have dinner in a nice restaurant, or maybe take a day trip to some place new. However, thankfully, those moments are getting fewer and fewer with time. I think that means Collin is really my kid, and I’ll never have to say goodbye. There is no future, there is no past, there is only the present. I am content to live day-by-day, and savor each drooly grin and silly antic like a fine wine.