It's hard to believe our second child will be here in three months. Three months feels like a really short amount of time, and also, a really long amount of time. I guess it depends on how I'm feeling during the moment I think about it.
Lately, Collin and I have taken to cuddling, almost like we feel this time together closing in on us. Something really big is going to happen, and change all our lives, and it will be for the better and we will be happier for it, but change is still change. It's different. Collin and I cuddle up under the blankets together in this extreme version of cuddling, where we're cheek-to-cheek and practically melting together to form one person. I lay next to him at nap time and he falls asleep with his lips on my cheek, and I think, this is love. And then I feel so happy and complete, it's like if I never accomplished anything else in my life, I would still die feeling like I'd succeeded.
In other, less emotional news, I'm really gearing up for Thanksgivukuh. If you don't know, Thanksgivukuh is the result of Thanksgiving and Chanukah falling on the same day, which won't happen again for another 70,000 years. Now, by 'gearing up, ' I should specify that what I really mean is eyeing it warily from the corner as I wrap my head around all the cooking and cleaning I will have to do. I kind of take Thanksgiving really seriously, in that for one day a year, I morph into this Top Chef version of myself. Every year, I embark on this unstoppable quest to make the perfect Thanksgiving feast. FEAST being the key word. Even if it's just dinner for two, I will not stop until there is enough food for twelve. I don't know why I do this. Since I've become a mom, and thus exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep I get or coffee I consume, Thanksgiving has changed a little for me. Like everything else in my life, my standards for Thanksgiving dinner have significantly lowered. Good enough is good enough, and it doesn't have to be perfect. It can even be a little over done and burnt around the edges. And now I just feel the slightest bit overwhelmed when I think about preparing a big dinner, though that won't stop the Thanksgiving mania once the big day approaches. Especially now that Chanukah is involved.
My biggest challenge this year will not be mustering the energy to cook a huge feast and make the house look like a livable place instead of an episode of Hoarders. My biggest challenge will be finding ways to include Collin in the kitchen without losing my sh*t the moment he sends a cloud of flour in the air. I love cooking with Collin, I really do, and he is such an enthusiastic little chef. However, I can get a little weird and controlling about silly things like Thanksgiving dinner. I suppose, if he ruins a dish with his toddlerhood over-enthusiasm, I can always just smile and say, "Collin helped make it! " and all will be understood.